


Begin again

by NessieKoizumi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Bashing, Falling In Love, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29553135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NessieKoizumi/pseuds/NessieKoizumi
Summary: Ushijima’s definition of love was tainted once but like every dry season, love will bloom once again.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi, implied Kageyama Tobio/Hinata Shouyou, past Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Begin again

**Author's Note:**

> Projecting my emotional pain from previous lover, hello I’m not fcked up that I’m unable to love. F you !! Hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading !! (Sorry for any grammatical or weirdly phrase error)

Ushijima thought that when you love someone, it means you have to love them on their good and bad days so when his boyfriend broke his heart by moaning out another’s name during a drunken night, Ushijima thought he had to put on a brave face and continue to love Satori, since that’s what love is all about. 

It wasn’t always like that, no one would expect it would turn out that way. It didn’t start with him getting less and less response whenever he text him, it didn’t start with him getting more hums and nods than actual conversation, it started just like any other love story. It started with them getting to know one another, peeling the deeper essence of one another but try as you may, not everyone can have their happily ever after.

Ushijima wouldn’t entirely blame it on Satori, he isn’t exactly easy to be in love with, more often than not he wouldn’t know how to react, he would love to answer as passionately as Satori whenever they exchange love expression be it with their words or body language, but he had never grow up with much affectionate and he’s unsure he knows how after so long without.

“You shouldn’t be putting yourself down like that Wakatoshi-kun.”

The others would often reminds him, to stand up for himself to tell Satori what he thinks about the lack of response, the growing suspicious instance Satori have whenever his phone is beeping, Ushijima would always nods and agreeing along that he knows it too but he doesn’t want to lose his bestfriend.

“If he cares, he wouldn’t hurt you that way.”

The words hurt him more than when Satori had arrived hours late after the supposed promised time for their date. He knows and understands that they’re only looking out for him. They don’t want him to get hurt because he was too afraid to voice out his suspicion.

Once when Ushijima couldn’t contain it in himself any longer, he had burst it out with so much anger and emotion that it left Ushijima scared of what had been kept inside. Satori only looked at him with strained eyes and blank expression, _“You don’t talk to me like that Wakatoshi.”_ and he left and he left and he left, going unheard for several weeks before loud knocking on his door one December night.

Sometimes he thinks to himself, maybe he is doomed to have failed relationships just like his parents. The apple doesn’t fall far from the trees, he had heard that idiom once and he thinks it suits him. They had try to make it work the second time and it went good again for a long time. Though it mainly works since Ushijima has been trying his best to crack his cold demeanour and sculptured himself into the partner Satori wants him to be.

“Stop pushing yourself too much Wakatoshi.”

Tooru had said to him, and isn’t that funny when Tooru hasn’t been in Japan all that much after he had played internationally and haven’t been meeting him as much as others. Everyone around him had voiced it out one way or another but not Satori, he likes him differently so he stays, he stays, he stays. 

Shoyo’s face was turning redder and redder as he screamed out all the emotion he had chained inside. Shoyo couldn’t stand it any longer. And even when it wasn’t him who had told all the build-up tension growing between him, Satori still looked at him like he was the one who had betrayed the trust and love and not the other way around.

“You’re a monster Tendo-san.”

Laughing almost manically, he points his finger accusingly around. _“All of you are teaming up on me and I’m the monster here?”_ He spits to the ground and with so much hatred in him, he said the words that keep on playing on Ushijima’s mind, _“Try being in love with him and tell me you can do it any better.”_ And with that their once burning relationship had come to an end, only leaving Ushijima with dry and unkempt land.

Everyone tries to cheer him up, even Tobio with a frown on his face looking unsure whether he’s wording it out right. Ushijima wants to laugh but he’s afraid when the sound comes out it would be of his strangled crying he only let out when he’s sure he’s all alone. He wouldn’t want people to pity him, “ _he doesn’t make it easy to love him.”_

in Satori’s voice would repeat again and again in his mind.

Tooru had made it a mission of his to always make sure he’ll always meet up with Ushijima whenever he can, he’d send funny meme he would found and even if Ushijima would only replied back with emojis most of the time, Tooru thinks to himself he wouldn’t want it any other way. 

They’ll meet up and play for fun, his bunch of self-proclaimed new bestfriend will be tagging along mostly with Shoyo, Goshiki and Bokuto talking so loud and the conversation wouldn’t even match but he’s glad Ushijima is surrounded with so much warmth when he isn’t around. Sometimes he would see Kiyoomi would be sneaking worried look Ushijima’s way but he knows the line is clear as long as the annoying Atsumu is hanging beside him like some feisty fox.

A knock to his head from Iwaizumi pulls him back to reality, with a serious look on his face and his arms crossed over his chest, “Just confess to him Thrashykawa. You look like a lost puppy and it burns my eyes dumbass.”

Scrunching his face unsure whether he’s up to the idea, Oikawa just sighs and kicks some non-existent stone in front of his foot. He’s unsure when exactly the feelings flutter inside him but he knows with time, if he doesn’t let it out it would consume him and it wouldn’t be a pretty sight. He’ll just end up embarrassing himself.

“If he rejects me, you’re buying me alcohol.”

That was the last words Iwaizumi had heard before he was left to look cringely at Tooru babying Ushijima whenever he’s around. As weird as he might feel at looking at Tooru loving someone so unabashingly, Iwaizumi thought to himself it is still millions miles better than seeing the warmth leaving Ushijima’s eyes and the uneasiness oozing from Tooru’s heart. And he nods and thinks to himself, he wouldn’t want it any other way though he still needs to find ways to get rid of the biles forming within his throat whenever he hears, “Waka-chan.” with kissy noises. 


End file.
